In that case, I suppose you would have nothing to worry about, past realizing you'd miscalculated your affection, changing your mind or returning to the fade without warning to leave her in a shamble.
[ A scoff-- ] A little dramatic. Surely a floor or two down would suffice.
[ A beat, then; ]
I don't know what you think of me and her, exactly, but she is very probably one of the first people I've met willing to give a damn about either of us. And it never struck me as a bad thing, that.
[ --that frustration rising again, on behalf of himself, a little bit on behalf of Athessa as well. ]
You were wrong, that time. I'm not some ridiculous-- whatever it was you said, being torn from a romance cover, all that. I don't believe she views me that way, at the very least.
Athessa defines her sense of worth by the depth and purity of a partner’s affection, escalates the stakes by falling wildly in love with them, and comes unglued when they aren’t prepared to reciprocate.
I believe that you may love her, Loxley, but not in a way that is going to break this cycle.
[ A pensive silence follows. If he had more to say, it's given up on for now. Maybe the opposite thing, which he doesn't put to words very often: that it is nice for the whole tiefling thing not to matter. The qunari thing, in this instance.
At least it sounds a little like Richard is being listened to. Loxley asks; ]
[ Easy to imagine Richard turning in for the night, while Loxley sits out here on the docks and watches the water and opines about hearts and such. There is a pause, the searching kind, suspecting a joke at his own expense.
No easy read, there. ]
Anyone can vanish at any time, is really all. Not just us.
Fine, [ that moment of impatience, suddenly turning brusque, less delicate than he'd like to be. ] Would you recommend I try not to?
—by which I mean, not even only the big capital L type, but becoming close to someone at all. I don't know that I've stayed in one place for this long since childhood.
[ Impatience is met with protracted silence. Richard lies on his side, his face half sunk into his pillow while he looks at his life, looks at his choices. ]
Athessa is poorly equipped to manage undesirable outcomes. You are likely to create an undesirable outcome.
I’m not advocating for you to abandon all hope of meaningful connection, [ even if that’s where the safe money is at ] I am attempting to avert a single disaster.
[ and muffled, as he turns his nose down into the pillow: ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ A beat, then; ]
I don't know what you think of me and her, exactly, but she is very probably one of the first people I've met willing to give a damn about either of us. And it never struck me as a bad thing, that.
no subject
Until then she is dangerous.
[ Richard sets his glass back aside, empty. ]
Don't mistake coddling her bad behavior for chivalry.
no subject
[ --that frustration rising again, on behalf of himself, a little bit on behalf of Athessa as well. ]
You were wrong, that time. I'm not some ridiculous-- whatever it was you said, being torn from a romance cover, all that. I don't believe she views me that way, at the very least.
no subject
I believe that you may love her, Loxley, but not in a way that is going to break this cycle.
no subject
At least it sounds a little like Richard is being listened to. Loxley asks; ]
And it has nothing to do with us being Rifters.
no subject
no subject
I'm not only talking of Athessa.
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ Richard reaches to wind down the wick of his lamp, damping light down to the low glow of the fire. ]
Tell me more.
no subject
No easy read, there. ]
Anyone can vanish at any time, is really all. Not just us.
no subject
no subject
[ A pause, before he seems to shake off his own elusive approach and just says— ]
Would you stop yourself from falling in love with someone, here?
no subject
[ Richard tells the crystal on his desk, reasonably. And: ]
I think you and I both know there’s no risk of that happening.
no subject
—by which I mean, not even only the big capital L type, but becoming close to someone at all. I don't know that I've stayed in one place for this long since childhood.
no subject
Athessa is poorly equipped to manage undesirable outcomes. You are likely to create an undesirable outcome.
I’m not advocating for you to abandon all hope of meaningful connection, [ even if that’s where the safe money is at ] I am attempting to avert a single disaster.
[ and muffled, as he turns his nose down into the pillow: ]
You don’t have to listen to me.
no subject
[ some of that impatience still burning off, but gone as he adds, ]
but I try to.
[ He can virtually see the cartoon z's emanating from his crystal. ]
I like that you care for her. [ A beat, then, having mercy; ] I'll let you go.