Inbox - Fade Rift

[nonvenomous]

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[nonvenomous]

[ God why. The breath he takes in to steel himself and the sigh that follows are kept to himself, but the beat itself is telling. ]

Why would you have done that?

[charmoffensive]

Due to, in this hypothetical, [ dry ] I am in love with Athessa.

[nonvenomous]

In that case, I suppose you would have nothing to worry about, past realizing you'd miscalculated your affection, changing your mind or returning to the fade without warning to leave her in a shamble.

[charmoffensive]

And you'd have said 'oh, never mind, congratulations'.

[nonvenomous]

Just prior to throwing my crystal into the sea and moving to the other tower, yes.

[charmoffensive]

[ A scoff-- ] A little dramatic. Surely a floor or two down would suffice.

[ A beat, then; ]

I don't know what you think of me and her, exactly, but she is very probably one of the first people I've met willing to give a damn about either of us. And it never struck me as a bad thing, that.

[nonvenomous]

She is deeply unstable, and demands total devotion with a knife held to her own throat. She has work to do.

Until then she is dangerous.

[ Richard sets his glass back aside, empty. ]

Don't mistake coddling her bad behavior for chivalry.

[charmoffensive]

I'm not attempting to be chivalrous.

[ --that frustration rising again, on behalf of himself, a little bit on behalf of Athessa as well. ]

You were wrong, that time. I'm not some ridiculous-- whatever it was you said, being torn from a romance cover, all that. I don't believe she views me that way, at the very least.

[nonvenomous]

Athessa defines her sense of worth by the depth and purity of a partner’s affection, escalates the stakes by falling wildly in love with them, and comes unglued when they aren’t prepared to reciprocate.

I believe that you may love her, Loxley, but not in a way that is going to break this cycle.

[charmoffensive]

[ A pensive silence follows. If he had more to say, it's given up on for now. Maybe the opposite thing, which he doesn't put to words very often: that it is nice for the whole tiefling thing not to matter. The qunari thing, in this instance.

At least it sounds a little like Richard is being listened to. Loxley asks; ]

And it has nothing to do with us being Rifters.

[nonvenomous]

Being a Rifter is certainly a complication.

[charmoffensive]

And I doubt the solution to mitigating broken hearts [ a return of light sarcasm ] is to never touch any.

I'm not only talking of Athessa.

[nonvenomous]

Did you call to ask for my insight or to give me yours?

[charmoffensive]

Must it be one or the other?

[nonvenomous]

No, of course. You're right.

[ Richard reaches to wind down the wick of his lamp, damping light down to the low glow of the fire. ]

Tell me more.

[charmoffensive]

[ Easy to imagine Richard turning in for the night, while Loxley sits out here on the docks and watches the water and opines about hearts and such. There is a pause, the searching kind, suspecting a joke at his own expense.

No easy read, there. ]

Anyone can vanish at any time, is really all. Not just us.

[nonvenomous]

Are you referring to death?

[charmoffensive]

That's part of it. Certainly the most permanent.

[ A pause, before he seems to shake off his own elusive approach and just says— ]

Would you stop yourself from falling in love with someone, here?

[nonvenomous]

The luxury of closure inherent to the certainty of death isn’t something we’re afforded.

[ Richard tells the crystal on his desk, reasonably. And: ]

I think you and I both know there’s no risk of that happening.

[charmoffensive]

Fine, [ that moment of impatience, suddenly turning brusque, less delicate than he'd like to be. ] Would you recommend I try not to?

—by which I mean, not even only the big capital L type, but becoming close to someone at all. I don't know that I've stayed in one place for this long since childhood.

[nonvenomous]

[ Impatience is met with protracted silence. Richard lies on his side, his face half sunk into his pillow while he looks at his life, looks at his choices. ]

Athessa is poorly equipped to manage undesirable outcomes. You are likely to create an undesirable outcome.

I’m not advocating for you to abandon all hope of meaningful connection, [ even if that’s where the safe money is at ] I am attempting to avert a single disaster.

[ and muffled, as he turns his nose down into the pillow: ]

You don’t have to listen to me.

[charmoffensive]

I know that,

[ some of that impatience still burning off, but gone as he adds, ]

but I try to.

[ He can virtually see the cartoon z's emanating from his crystal. ]

I like that you care for her. [ A beat, then, having mercy; ] I'll let you go.